The History of C2H6O

After minutes of intense and exhaustive research, I have prepared this summary of the complete and thorough history of the compound C2H6O ... sometimes abbreviated as EtOH, using the common organic chemistry notation of representing the ethyl group (C2H5) with Et.

It was discovered by a caveman named Eddie 10,479 years ago who ate some rotting fruit. In his notes posted on his blog, he noted it "affected every organ in the body. It is a central nervous system depressant that is rapidly absorbed from the stomach and small intestine into the bloodstream."

But it felt really good. So he opened a store ... Open M-S 10-8, closed on Sundays according to the "Beige Laws" (Blue was not invented yet).

After Franchising, the word spread, Egyptian chemists a few thousand years later were able to extract enhanced variations of the compound C2H6O from a variety of fruits, with various affects on the central nervous system. Some causing seizure like walking episodes, hence the "Walk Like an Egyptian" terminology.

The ancient Greeks saw a fruit based version of C2H6O as a staple of domestic life and a viable economic trade commodity, their settlements were encouraged to plant vineyards for local use and trade with the Greek city-states.

In Christianity, the transformation of H2O into C2H6O ... at the Marriage at Cana or Wedding at Cana is the first miracle of Jesus in the Gospel of John. (This practice continues today, in reverse at the Gallo Corporation).

The use of C2H6O .continued to flourish globally through the middle ages, despite the chronic diseases such as liver cirrhosis (damage to liver cells); pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas); various cancers, including liver, mouth, throat, larynx (the voice box), and esophagus; high blood pressure; and psychological disorders. These were blamed on demons and bad Lute playing.

During the annexation of the new territories known today as the United States C2H6O and it's addictive traits were used on the native inhabitants, rendering them ineffective in battle, where they often ran their horses into trees or passed out before battle.

This strategy subsequently backfired and the new residents of these territories began excessive use of C2H6O, this led to attempt prohibiting the sale and distribution of of C2H6O. (An old concept, prohibition of C2H6O dating back to the Xia Dynasty (ca. 2070 BC–ca. 1600 BC in China. Yu the Great, the first ruler of the Xia Dynasty, prohibited C2H6O throughout the kingdom).

This was tried again in the United States in the late 20's and 30's (interrsting the Stock Market Crashed as people got coherent) ... and failed miserably, there were millions addicted at this point. Mayhem, chaos, street battles ensued ... eventually the Twenty-first Amendment to the United States Constitution on December 5, 1933. By its terms, states were allowed to set their own laws for the control of C2H6O.

Not long afterward, there was a book published to help people deal with the addictive nature of C2H6O . first published in 1939 which promotes a spiritual solution to the chemical problem. The formula widely used for this equation is G1O1D > H2H6O

Use of C2H6O Today

• Per the 21st amendment, State regulated / taxed, a tremendous revenue stream; the State of NH manages all sales and is able to operate without an Income Tax because of it. Most other states use outsourced distributors, so they can tax the C2H6O and the business, and the employees.

• Other addictive elements like gambling and Tobacco are sold along with the C2H6O, to provide a complete revenue stream.

•  C2H6O is the primary revenue driver in most restaurants, where the total bill may often include more than 50% C2H6O  expenses.

• In the US alone, 80,000 people a year die from the medical affects alone. 15 Million people are also affected by the social and economic affects.

• The industry for C2H6O political lobby spends well in excess of $10 Million annually

• Absolute or anhydrous C2H6O refers to a low water content. There are various grades with maximum water contents ranging from 1% to a few parts per million (ppm) levels. Absolute C2H6O s not intended for human consumption.

• The largest single use of C2H6O is as a motor fuel and fuel additive. More than any other major country, Brazil relies on C2H6O as a motor fuel. Gasoline sold in Brazil contains at least 25% anhydrous C2H6O .

Gas up - or Drink Up - C2H6O is here to stay!

Footnote:  C2H6O Human consumption and the resulting intoxication can
be harmful for a variety of reasons, including:

• Impaired brain function resulting in poor judgment, reduced reaction time, loss of balance and motor  skills, or slurred speech.

• Dilation of blood vessels causing a feeling of warmth but resulting in rapid loss of body heat

• Increased risk of certain cancers, stroke, and liver diseases (e.g., cirrhosis), particularly when excessive  amounts of C2H6O are consumed over extended periods of time

References: The Internet


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