Happy UN-Thanksgiving

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving.

I have a Brother in Germany who gets about six weeks vacation and half a month of government holidays. So today is one of the only times of the year where I can gloat for a few moments. He is working today, I am not.  However, that moment is very short lived. It's not in my nature to do that. I miss him and his family for over fifty weeks of the year. I wish they could share in the festivities of today. 

This is a great holiday. One of reflection, humility, grateful thanks. It's loosely about the story of two vastly diverse cultures and peoples long ago who got together to share their food and their spiritualism. That honeymoon day didn't last though. The Indians got the Casinos and the Pilgrims got everything else, and now the pilgrims go to the Casinos and give it all back.

This has always been a holiday of a stressful roll-up of a mandated short week (unless you work in retail). Everything "needs" to be done by 2PM on Wednesday, so that we can all leave for four days. What was completed at 2pm is still there on Monday, but at least it got done. We come back to work a little fatter and more relaxed to start again, over and over.

Thursday morning traditions are great. The parades, 4 hours of football analysis to watch for 3 hours a gave that takes 1 to actually play. Let's not forget the wonderful vast food prep, the great smells. For those few families that are not torn apart by divorce, Dad comes in and becomes a cook for a few moments. guiding a large bird into the oven. Lots of real butter, sugar and salt. This is not a day for those who normally diet.

But this year, I don't really care ... I used to set aside this day, and get all emotional, reflect on the day, the month, the year. I used to wait for this day to let the gratitude flow in, connect with God. Not any more. This year - and today, I will care no more than any other day.

Why? I just can't possibly do it. After last year and going through many months of intense physical recovery. Having finally found God; after living in a void for decades. After undergoing a wonderful spiritual awakening, seeing things so different today than ever before, reflecting every day of my life now on what I need to do to help other people, it's too much to ask!

Every day I am full of thanksgiving: for my kids who are starting to see beyond the anger. For family and friends who have been with me through this all. For all those with experience that have inspired and guided me in my learning months. For the band I am in, being able to share this positive growth with countless hundreds so far. For my BillsBlend coffee journey, which will keep me close to Hell, lest I forget. For providing me with just enough, not too fast, helping me learn patience. For allowing me to be of service, to help others. And for one soul in particular, the ember still burns, I am nurturing it slowly.

If I try to be any more thankful today, I will implode.

Thanksgiving for me this year means my normal daily routine of checking in with my God. I give him grief about being away for so long, and then thank him for everything I have. Everything. This day this year means helping those who feel trauma during the holidays.

Friday will come, and aside from the huge crowds being gone, having received their support, they are off to the malls to get more things to be thankful for. I will do what I do every un-Thanksgiving. Wake up, and say a prayer of thanks, and get to work helping. Don't go looking for me a WalMart on Friday.

I look forward to celebrating 364 Happy Un-Thanksgivings with you!