The "TIDES" of Venus and Mars

I had a random encounter with two bottles of laundry detergent recently. Made by the same company, mostly the same stuff inside, some sort of a soapy mixture the removes crud from your clothes.

But these were two VERY different bottles of soap ....

One designed for people from Venus, (you women know who you are), and the other for us less intelligent folk from Mars. I will point them out for you.

COLOR -  Venus is crisp white, and pale blue, sensitive and caring colors, representing purity and cleanliness. Mars is Denver Bronco kick ass, in your face, don't mess with me friggin dirt  orange.

TOUCH - Venus is "gentle on the skin" - soft caress,  a pleasure, to glide your soft cottons over your tender shoulders. Mars is  'clean the NFL trusts, meaning it will get caked blood and ground in mud and grass stains from working in the yard out of your denim, which we guys air dry so they are crusty.

FRAGRANCE - Venus is "free and gentle" so it won't contrast with body lotions or delicate perfumes. Mars doesn't care what the crap smells like - so long as it stinks a bit better than before you washed it.

GRAPHICS - Venus bottle is clean, serene, gentle vignettes, the word 'free' appears a few times. Mars has women in football caps getting rowdy at games. Messaging is about how many "loads" you'll get, and the word 'original' in upper case, to indicate this isn't some sort of fake crap soap, it's the real thing.

SIZE - Venus - I noticed the Venus bottle was a bit larger, for carefully applied amounts of this gentle lotion. The Mars bottle was smaller, just enough to get some suds, and save money, for more Bratwurst for the afternoon cookout.

So thanks to the Tide marketing team for pointing out our vast differences. Remember the next time you go shopping with someone from another planet, you may want to get separate baskets for the soap aisle.

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